Phases

A lot of times when designing a product or a space I wonder, what designing is all about? Do we care that much about changing the world, is it about our personal fame or is it simply for the bread and butter? These questions haunt me, because just like everyone else, often I have doubts in what I do.

A friend of mine said that I'm in that 'phase'. A phase when a designer (or practically anyone) had a rethink of what they do, whether they're on the right way, serving the right purpose or perhaps in need of an extreme manuver. I like to think that I'm on the right path, not knowing where it will end. Anyway, as days went by, we all should move on and make progress although we might face failure and dismissal.

Sometimes I like to talk to friends who are older, a bit wiser and perhaps already more certain about what they want to do, and that sometimes help especially when they are in the same profession. From these conversations, I realize even more that I want to take a different route than everyone else is, or simply realizing that everyone is different, therefore I have to face the uncertainties of the desired path - and that's fine with me.

Somehow along the way, I made peace with myself. Not saying that I'll stop having doubts, but the realization that we all are truly different, formed a temporary belief that you and I are doing just fine. Perhaps in the next 10 minutes I'll ask the same series of questions, but hey we all have learned to recover.

It is a bit of a hard task when you are a designer and you are a business mind. I have long realize that in order to be a designer, I would have to possess a certain amount of naiveness, a dose of self-trust and a lot of emotion. On the other side, the business mind tells you to simply be logical. Being in between, of course made you have an in between creation and an in between business.

The more I think about it, the more I realized that I often have unbalanced days, when I forgot my family, friends and self discipline. Then I thought, what is it that you really want?